I need

a job, this is horrible not having any money.
especially since Christmas is now coming up around the corner

dream

Army: To see the army in your dream, symbolizes an overpowering force working against you. You may feel outnumbered or pressured and unable to deal/overcome this situation.

Mall:To dream that you are at the mall, represents your attempts in making a favorable impression on someone. The mall is also symbolic of materialism and the need to keep up with the trends, fads, and/or the latest technology.

Build-a-bear: To see or receive a teddy bear in your dream, suggests a regression to an earlier state. It symbolizes lost security, comfort, companionship and implies that you need to be reassured and taken care of. You may be reminiscing about early childhood memories. Alternatively, a teddy bear signifies an immature relationship. Alternatively, a teddy bear signifies an immature relationship.

Popcorn:To see popcorn in your dream, suggests that you are full of ideas. It may also indicate that certain truths/facts are being made aware to you.

Driving: To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals. If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are have difficulties in achieving your goals and the changes associated with it. Alternatively, driving a car in your dream, is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life.

To dream that someone else is driving you, represents your dependence on the driver. You are not in control of your life and following the goals of others instead of your own. If you are driving from the passenger side of a car, then it suggests that you are trying to gain control of the path that your life is taking. You are beginning to make your own decisions.

OH, this commercial

D:

It just kind of sucks. A lot. I wish I had someone to talk to. But I don't. I always feel like I'm burdening people with my problems. I never say anything. Figure, if they wanted to know, they'd ask. But they never do. I don't have anyone. I haven't felt so alone in such a long time. My life is seriously falling the fuck apart. And I don't know how to make it stop. And what's worse is, I have no one. I thought it was just me pushing people away. But really, I have no one. My friends have problems of their own. & the people I do choose to talk to have nothing to say. Maybe I expect too much? Maybe I'm being selfish? Maybe it's just bad karma? I don't know what it is. But it's bad. And all it does is get worse. I want someone to be there for me. Someone who doesn't yell at me, or criticize me, or tell me things I already know. Someone who doesn't state the obvious, or tell me I'm fucking up. It's hard to admit when you need help, but really.... I need help. & I want someone who will help me.


I brought this all on myself,
but I can't do it alone.

i got pulled over!

kinda.

soooooooo,
i'm going like about 50 miles on what i thought was a 45mph street,
and all of a sudden i drive by this cop and automatically does a U-turn.
His lights didnt go off, so i wasn't exactly sure what was upppp.
so i do a lane change cause i needed to be in the right lane. and i wanted to know if the cop was following me. sure enough, i look in the rearview mirror and there he is. So we pull up to a red light, and he gets out from behind me, and pulls up next to me.

Cop mouths-roll your window down
*i roll it down*
Cop-Do you live in Avondale?
Me-Yes.
(this is about the point my face starts going red)
Cop-Well, then you should very well know not to go 53 in a 35mph zone
*i nod my head* Me-Yes
(soooo, because i live in avondale... i should know not to go above the speed limit....? OH, and i'm almost 99.9% sure it was a 45mph zone, NOT 35mph. which i will be checking tomorrow...)
Cop- I should be pulling you over right now and writing you a ticket.
*pause* shouldn't I?
Me-Yes.(I HATE WHEN COPS DO THAT!!! WTF, NO.
OF COURSE I DONT WANT YOU TO PULL ME OVER!sdklfjs;adlkfj;sdkljf)
Cop-Well, Slow it down
Me-Okay.
*i roll my window back up.*

okay, now THIS is my favorite part!!!
HE TURNS ON HIS SIRENS,
so he can run the red light.
(he was in the left lane)
just so he could turn around.


no, REALLY?!@!?!?!?

dont know

Some days, I feel like all I am is extra baggage. Just a ball and chain attached to a foot. Nothing really. The thought of this box being empty makes me sick. I have so many emotions swirling through my head right now, I wish I could write them all down. But I have no idea where to start.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaah

Dear.....someone, anyone, you.
Everyday I fail.
Everyday I find hatred in myself.
Everyday I try.
Everyday I let myself down.
Everyday I look for guidance.
Everyday I seek solace.
Everyday I am sad.
Everyday I know tomorrow will be no different.
I want to believe.
I want to love.
I want to win.
I want to do better.
I want to change.
I want to be happy.
I want to proud of myself.
I want to know tomorrow will be different.
I will continue to want change everyday……

Halloween.

rough night last night coming home.
stupid neighborhood.

anyway,
halloween is now teen debate night.

went from Obama vs.McCain
to
Pro-choice vs. Pro-life.
to
God is real vs. God is not real.
politics and church aren't suppose to mix.
you see how well that went.


ABORTION:
Everyone's reasons for abortion are different.

The fact is, abortions should not be banned.
We should put out an effort to make sure that abortions are never used as a soul method of birth control.
We should do this by putting a limit on how many abortions one women can have in a certain amount of time.

If you are pro-life, do what you can. Adopt a child. Advocate for birth control. Help eradicate abstinence only education.

But understand this. Our reasons for things vary. Our morals vary. But no matter how we feel, we need to understand that is how we feel alone. And if abortions were banned. If they were illegal- they would continue to happen. Because the need for a women to have power over her body is something you cannot fight. This debate is too large to put into two categories.

We are not all pro-choice or pro-life. We should all work together to educate and prevent unwanted pregnancies.

Educate about birth control.
Give options to the women who are having unplanned pregnancies. Talk openly about not only our opinions, but the opinions of others.

Be open minded. We are all passionate about our views on this topic, but we can do so and still be mature.

BABY

i went shopping for baby stuff today with my cousins & aunt.
My cousin, Kim, is due in Feb.
:) a baby boyyy!
:D i want a baby boy so baaaaaad

George W. Bush

This person needs a job.

This individual seeks an executive position.

He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.

(Please don't skip the last section!)

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington , DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE :

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all- time U.S and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convict ed criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!

High School Musical 3

Just got back from seeing HSM3. BEST MOVIE EVER!
not even kidding.
i saw it by myself. MAAAAAAAAAAN. i'm c000l.
:)

but after i got 2 new pairs of shoes and a purse.
which i plan to be wearing on Tuesday.
:)

GUESS WHATT!!!!

I GOT MY LICENCE!!!!
what nowww?!!?!!?!!!!
:)


yeeeeeeeeeeeee!!~~

ahhhhhh

so my phone came yesterday! i was super essited about that!
:)


and today, is my drivers test.
right now, i'm scared.
SHITLESS

:)

my phones coming today!!!(or tomorrow)
:)
i'm esssited :)

vidzzZzz

have you ever?

have you ever felt alone even though you're surrounded by a million people.
have you ever been replaced by those you cared most about.
have you ever felt betrayed by someone you trusted with all your heart.
have you ever felt like you were alone in this game called life?

now take those feelings.
multiply it by about five thousand.
and that's where you have me.

it's an easy way to sum up all of my feelings.
and put it into one short, easy to remember sentence.
"i feel like the world is out to get me."

like honestly,
i don't know why i'm like this.
i don't know if it's something from my past,
or if it's just an insecurity.

but i feel like almost everyone i know.
i feel like everyone i gave my complete trust to,
i feel that they're turning around on me.
in some way.

and even the people that i don't know,
them too.

i don't know why.
i can't explain it.

i wish there was someone who could.

but whether it's explained to me or not,
it's still the way i feel.

Beauty & The Beast

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

change

Everyone changes: you've changed, I've changed, the lawn mower's grandson who lives across the street, around the corner, and down twelve houses has changed. It's what people do, it's what life is all about. I understand that, but the problem I have is that you change because you want people to "accept" you. Don't change for other people, change for yourself. You need to be okay with who YOU are, before you can expect other people to be okay with it. You need to realize you can't be EVERYONE's friend. Some people aren't going to like you, no matter how hard you try. It's sad to admit that, but seriously. You can't live your life trying to please everyone else. You shouldn't have to change something about yourself, hoping other people will like you more. Everyone has their own ideas of how people should be. You try to match that, you'll be even more scattered. Who are they to tell you the kind of life you should live? Who are they to tell you the kind of person you should be? They aren't. If you spent all your time trying to meet everyone's expectations, you wouldn't have time to truly find yourself.

It's situations like these that bring out the worst in people.

just is

no one has control over the wind. or the day of their death. you can't choose your feelings or your mood. you can't adjust time. no fast forward, rewind, or pause.

it just is.

ups and downs

There's been a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately, at the end of the day, that's what makes you who you are. we all know how to laugh, we all know how to cry, and we all know how to love. we all know heartbreak, but the world keeps on moving, and we keep moving along with it. and everything we experience makes us realize how beautiful life truly is.

i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

i believe its easy to forget how perfectly life works out. when you are down, you believe that things never work in your favor. but if you look back, you see that, in many cases, things happened exactly the way they needed to. too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.

cliche

"you've been my past, you surely are my present, now will you be my future?"
I used to think about this line a lot. I'm sure it can apply to most people. But for me, it's only solely applying to you. The one who had me okay with letting you take ahold of my heart as if as long as it belonged to you.. it was okay. I had myself convinced that by all god i would never want a "boyfriend" or "serious relationship" whatever you wanna call it. I'm not the type to go for that bull shit. But when i started to get to know you, that all changed.

Cliche?
Yea, Probably. but falling more and more in love with someone as each day goes by, how can that not be a cliche? It surely, exists, and you've brought it upon myself, and opened my eyes to it too.
Every kiss, every touch. Can i just spend a lifetime with you and let the rest fall into place?

It's a shame my feelings were more than yours. Distance is what you make it. And by all means, you made it the fucking highlight of it all. and the reason for this fall. Well, i'm here to tell you, I understand.

The tides were crashing upon my heart, and for every moment you would second guess yourself, or us... it would erode every little bit of my heart more and more. And the day that my heart would just disappear from the outcome of this, just all out of love for you, may be now.
Patience, used to be my life with you, but now, i noticed that word has been taken over and replaced by "used" and me being just "a toy". That's all I was. There's a difference between those two... "patience" and being "used" and i was over casted by an unexplainable amount of feelings towards you, I was totally blinded. Not a second went by that i didn't think about you..............
not one.

But it's time i've stepped back from all these mixed feelings and confusion and notice that it's not love thats putting me on this emotional roller coaster. But the exact opposite. You got me good. Right where it hurts, center of my heart, where i promised myself i would never let anyone to. you can call it over-reacting, but unlike you, every second i spent with you no matter where, or how it happened, it made me the happiest girl on earth because i was with you, always.

But go have your fun. Because all i mean when i say "if there was a heart beat past being head over heels with someone, then boy, you've got mine racing" is in the past

So you were in my past, you've faded as my present. and as for the future, well, you can figure that out for yourself.
........ without me.

no more love can he convey

no uttered words the poet speaks,
no skies of golden hue,
no tales of unrequited love,
they were lost when I lost you.

no words to caress his lover's heart,
and gone the dreams he swore they'd live,
but alone within the poet dwells,
no uttered words... none left to give.

no music swells within his soul,
just silence surrounds his heart,
and the solitude engulfs his world,
when the poet and love depart.

and lost the beauty he once could see,
and the glory he saw each day,
now the poet pens his last farewell,
no more love can he convey.

but what's the poet's soul to do?
to release the love he feels,
for he'll surely die and wither,
if that love he now conceals.

he must hide the hurt and heartache,
just smile to friends and say,
i'm fine... love doesn't matters,
and deceive them all that way.

for a different face he'll show them,
to barricade his pain,
to hide his shattered spirit,
from the love he ne'er attained.

but the pain within shall kill him,
not soon but through the years,
for the poet knows his anguish,
when alone he sheds her tears.

and at night when dreams come calling,
with her voice, her smile... her eyes,
a single tear upon his cheek,
hides the pain his heart belies.

for he loved her soul completely,
was consumed by beauty's bliss,
had shared her inner thoughts,
but never shared her kiss.

and when death comes to the poet,
and to heaven his soul ascends,
he'll smile before her beauty,
for eternity never ends.

so will the poet regret the life,
which stole away the years,
no he'll simply recall the love,
he felt in all her tears.

and when his love has joined him,
and they meet in heaven's bliss,
their regrets will quickly perish,
as they kiss their first sweet kiss.

and the words will quickly flow again,
from my thoughts, to hand... to book,
i'll not write of God or Heaven,
when upon your face I look.

so the poet's again a poet,
for the words were always there,
i just didn't see much beauty,
when your love I couldn't share.

so their souls will find the love at last,
that in life they could not seek,
and the poet soon finds the words in you...
the words... he could not speak.

Something to dwell on

Throughout a certain period of time, or throughout anyone's lifetime for that matter, everyone searches and longs for happiness. Not just any happiness. The kind you can find in everything. Not just one thing. Everything. The content feeling of knowing you have someone. The sure thought that you are not alone. The mere knowledge that you have your health and you're so incredibley lucky to obtain these things. Even though we don't want to admit it to not only others- but ourselves, is that we're just dying to be happy. Were all chasing it, fighting for it, trying so hard, and risking so much for our own sake when we don't even realize that the simplest yet astonishing things can make us crack that smile. STOP. Stop everything for a moment, and think what you're doing.

If you're one of those kinds that cries because that one person you love doesnt love you just as much, It's okay. Time will heal your wounds and life will continue. Stop wasting your life away trying to figure out why he never came back and said sorry. Live for you. And only you.

And if you're one of those kinds that isnt always in complete bliss because of the materials you want but can't get, and the miniscule problems that are a constant in your life, Just think of how others, someplace at that very moment in time have absolutley nothing. And have it a hell of a lot worse than you. Appreciate every detail.

And if your one of those kinds that isn't 100% satisfied with what you see in the mirror, Realize one thing. You have the power to change it, and if not then embrace yourself. Accept your flaws and imperfections because life isn't about being perfect. Life itself doesnt mean it has to be perfect for it to function properly. It means to love every waking moment you have on this earth and you share with your friends, family and your love. It means to smell the flowers, take a chance, cherish every aspect, do something that you've never done, everyday. That's what its about and that is.. happiness. So Stop trying so hard to find it, and let it find you.

:)