ups and downs

There's been a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately, at the end of the day, that's what makes you who you are. we all know how to laugh, we all know how to cry, and we all know how to love. we all know heartbreak, but the world keeps on moving, and we keep moving along with it. and everything we experience makes us realize how beautiful life truly is.

i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

i believe its easy to forget how perfectly life works out. when you are down, you believe that things never work in your favor. but if you look back, you see that, in many cases, things happened exactly the way they needed to. too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.

cliche

"you've been my past, you surely are my present, now will you be my future?"
I used to think about this line a lot. I'm sure it can apply to most people. But for me, it's only solely applying to you. The one who had me okay with letting you take ahold of my heart as if as long as it belonged to you.. it was okay. I had myself convinced that by all god i would never want a "boyfriend" or "serious relationship" whatever you wanna call it. I'm not the type to go for that bull shit. But when i started to get to know you, that all changed.

Cliche?
Yea, Probably. but falling more and more in love with someone as each day goes by, how can that not be a cliche? It surely, exists, and you've brought it upon myself, and opened my eyes to it too.
Every kiss, every touch. Can i just spend a lifetime with you and let the rest fall into place?

It's a shame my feelings were more than yours. Distance is what you make it. And by all means, you made it the fucking highlight of it all. and the reason for this fall. Well, i'm here to tell you, I understand.

The tides were crashing upon my heart, and for every moment you would second guess yourself, or us... it would erode every little bit of my heart more and more. And the day that my heart would just disappear from the outcome of this, just all out of love for you, may be now.
Patience, used to be my life with you, but now, i noticed that word has been taken over and replaced by "used" and me being just "a toy". That's all I was. There's a difference between those two... "patience" and being "used" and i was over casted by an unexplainable amount of feelings towards you, I was totally blinded. Not a second went by that i didn't think about you..............
not one.

But it's time i've stepped back from all these mixed feelings and confusion and notice that it's not love thats putting me on this emotional roller coaster. But the exact opposite. You got me good. Right where it hurts, center of my heart, where i promised myself i would never let anyone to. you can call it over-reacting, but unlike you, every second i spent with you no matter where, or how it happened, it made me the happiest girl on earth because i was with you, always.

But go have your fun. Because all i mean when i say "if there was a heart beat past being head over heels with someone, then boy, you've got mine racing" is in the past

So you were in my past, you've faded as my present. and as for the future, well, you can figure that out for yourself.
........ without me.

no more love can he convey

no uttered words the poet speaks,
no skies of golden hue,
no tales of unrequited love,
they were lost when I lost you.

no words to caress his lover's heart,
and gone the dreams he swore they'd live,
but alone within the poet dwells,
no uttered words... none left to give.

no music swells within his soul,
just silence surrounds his heart,
and the solitude engulfs his world,
when the poet and love depart.

and lost the beauty he once could see,
and the glory he saw each day,
now the poet pens his last farewell,
no more love can he convey.

but what's the poet's soul to do?
to release the love he feels,
for he'll surely die and wither,
if that love he now conceals.

he must hide the hurt and heartache,
just smile to friends and say,
i'm fine... love doesn't matters,
and deceive them all that way.

for a different face he'll show them,
to barricade his pain,
to hide his shattered spirit,
from the love he ne'er attained.

but the pain within shall kill him,
not soon but through the years,
for the poet knows his anguish,
when alone he sheds her tears.

and at night when dreams come calling,
with her voice, her smile... her eyes,
a single tear upon his cheek,
hides the pain his heart belies.

for he loved her soul completely,
was consumed by beauty's bliss,
had shared her inner thoughts,
but never shared her kiss.

and when death comes to the poet,
and to heaven his soul ascends,
he'll smile before her beauty,
for eternity never ends.

so will the poet regret the life,
which stole away the years,
no he'll simply recall the love,
he felt in all her tears.

and when his love has joined him,
and they meet in heaven's bliss,
their regrets will quickly perish,
as they kiss their first sweet kiss.

and the words will quickly flow again,
from my thoughts, to hand... to book,
i'll not write of God or Heaven,
when upon your face I look.

so the poet's again a poet,
for the words were always there,
i just didn't see much beauty,
when your love I couldn't share.

so their souls will find the love at last,
that in life they could not seek,
and the poet soon finds the words in you...
the words... he could not speak.